How To Make Divorce Less Stressful

by Tanya June 15, 2019

There are no two ways about it, going through a divorce can be a very stressful, emotional, and worrying time, and some of that anxiety can play out in other areas of your life; friendships, health, and in the workplace.

One way of mitigating the negative impact of the divorce process on your work responsibilities is to try to achieve an amicable divorce, communicating as openly and respectfully as possible to avoid a lot of the fallout commonly associated with marital breakdown. 

How to handle things at work

Let your manager know what is going on.

Divorce is emotionally tough, and maintaining a high level of performance at work through the process can be really difficult, so if you are struggling a bit, it’s far better that people know why.

Hopefully, they will be empathetic and try to take some pressure off you whilst you work through the situation.

If you don’t feel that it is something your boss will be helpful with, you could consider speaking to the HR department instead and seeing what support they can offer. 

Take time off work if necessary

If you feel it would be beneficial in the early days, use a few days of holiday entitlement (also known as annual leave) to have a little time off to ground yourself and come to terms with the situation.

Don’t be tempted to take too much time off, just enough to get over the initial shock if needed.

Work can actually help to maintain routine and act as a useful distraction to personal problems so do whatever is the right thing for you. 

Communicate with with your ex-spouse

Try to keep an open line of communication with your ex-spouse where possible, particularly if there are children involved.

An amicable divorce is far preferable to an acrimonious one for your emotional, mental and financial well-being.

If you do generally get along, be open with them about wanting to make it as easy for both of you as possible, and your willingness to be amenable.

If your sentiments are returned then this could be really beneficial for you both.

If the situation makes this eventuality impossible, consider finding support externally, for example, seeking the services of a counsellor, or someone else you can talk things over with. 

Consider a no-fault divorce 

Since April 2022, it has been possible to obtain a ‘no fault’ divorce in England and Wales, which allows couples to officially split without allocating blame to either party. This should help to encourage more amicable divorces to take place as the attribution of blame has often been cited as an unnecessary bone of contention and source of conflict when spouses officially separate.

Even if you do feel that there is some blame on one side, try to take time to consider how necessary it is to attribute that compared to securing a smoother, quicker and much less unpleasant divorce.  

Take care of yourself

It’s easy to let a situation like divorce prevent you from looking after your own needs, particularly when it comes to taking time out to do things you enjoy, with people whose company you find comfort in.

Go for a walk, or run, meet with friends for coffee or lunch, take up a new recreational activity or read that book you’ve been meaning to read for the last year or so.

Getting divorced may represent the end of one chapter in your life, but it also signifies the beginning of another, so look for new, positive opportunities that may open other doors, and maybe even a new career, who knows? 

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